whatever

drool drool..

eep! so chioh! but.. ex also. but coz ex, got free shipping!

argh. but why don' they have it in charcoal/pink when they show it in the blownup below???

posted by who? at 21:06 | link | 1 comment(s)

posted by who? at 16:22 | link | 0 comment(s)

bitch on the loose

posted by who? at 15:31 | link | 0 comment(s)

posted by who? at 11:48 | link | 1 comment(s)

entertainment

posted by who? at 20:53 | link | 0 comment(s)

corn muffins

posted by who? at 20:05 | link | 0 comment(s)

they're taunting me

posted by who? at 11:47 | link | 0 comment(s)

i want

posted by who? at 01:31 | link | 4 comment(s)

• check out 陈绮贞’s concert details
  
• edit template
• check out a couple of aki firms

posted by who? at 17:42 | link | 0 comment(s)

jiak ba bo dai ji zuo

• check out 陈绮贞's concert details
• edit template
• check out a couple of aki firms

yes, i know my feet are ugly. i've got fat feet. just look at the slippers and imagine
a model's feet in them

posted by who? at 10:26 | link | 0 comment(s)

buble concert

• i'll have someone to go with -- my brother, h e 's the buble fan.
• it'll remind me of the times in nyc.
• buble sounds better live

posted by who? at 15:01 | link | 0 comment(s)

wet walk

posted by who? at 14:07 | link | 0 comment(s)

posted by who? at 19:36 | link | 0 comment(s)

story

nearly a week ago, my brother told me a story about this guy in his army camp. whatever bit i don’t really remember/remember hazily i’ll put in brackets. which will be quite a significant bit coz i was kinda tired when he was telling me the story.

* * * * *

there’s this NS(F) in my brother’s army camp who’s a rover driver. (a rover’s supposed to be a lok kok army vehicle)

a couple (or was it a few) months back, this NS(F) – let’s call him A, got into an accident and injured an elderly Indian man. (think A crashed into the EIM’s motorbike)

EIM was sent into ICU.

the army suspended A from driving and A was posted to a desk/admin job. A was facing some form of punishment. rumours had it that he might be sent to the detention barracks.

according to my brother that is somewhat equivalent to having a criminal record.

however, that was just pending. the SAF didn’t charge him officially. in fact, the SAF didn’t charge A for the next couple of months. SAF is going to charge A, but they just haven’t decided when.

in these couple of months, A sat at his desk worrying about his fate, EIM laid in his hospital bed recovering, and who knows what the SAF was doing.

later rumours had it that A might be brought to charge by higher powers? (didn’t get this bit. i don’t really get army jargon. think what my brother meant was that they might have involved higher ranking personnel dishing out the punishment.

the end result of involving higher ranking personnel somehow seem to involve a longer stay in the detention barracks or a more severe punishment than getting sent to the detention barracks.) so A was facing a more severe punishment. at least, that’s what rumours said.

months went by. the EIM was discharged from the ICU. yes. EIM survived.

A was still working at the desk. and SAF still haven’t made up their mind about charging A.

on 5 oct 05, A booked out on a weekday evening. went home for dinner with his family. afterwhich, he left and headed back to his camp.

instead of heading back to camp, he went to lim chu kang cemetery (which happens to be v e r y near his camp. i drive by the cemetery everytime i drive my brother back to camp), and hung himself (by his grandfather’s grave, using a metal chain – this bit was hearsay).

i’m really saddened by this. coz

• it’s a true story.
• i have had vehicular accidents. i know the burden of guilt. even when nobody was killed. or injured.
• A committed suicide in spite that he d i d n ‘ t kill anyone.
• A was just 20 (or younger).
  

some days when i pause and look at my life, i can’t help but think i’m really good at screwing myself. my life. is such a stagnating puddle of.. murk. but i don’t really think of ending it.

sure, i think of running away, starting afresh somewhere far and distant, but ending it, haven’t had that thought for a long while. i think it’s really partly coz i’m got a super low threshold of pain. and ending it all, involves quite a bit of pain. especially hanging oneself.

and the thought of A ending his life, it’s just so not worth it.

i really wish A’s family would pursue the matter with SAF, but i don’t really know if they’ve a case. and i don’t know if that would be on their mind at the moment.

but the thought that A might not have chosen to end his life if SAF did not take their time with charging him infuriates me.

posted by who? at 13:39 | link | 0 comment(s)

it's official

posted by who? at 15:34 | link | 2 comment(s)

the horror

spend almost my entire waking existence today clearing my room. managed to gather a huge box (approx 900mm x 900 mm x 900mm), two bags, and two shoe boxes worth of stuff to give to the salvation army.

also finally got all my stuff (by stuff i really mean new clothes. of which, maybe 30% were secondhand. so technically, not really new. but whatever lah) out of my luggage and somehow found space for them in my wardrobe. which now looks like this



this is actually an improvement. too bad i didn't take a before photo. i was too spurred on with doing something today. strange. but good. but

the horror.

i realised that if i hang everything that's folded up, it would probably be twice the width of the photo above. maybe more? and most of which are tee shirts. argh. i suspect i can not do laundry and still manage to dig up clean clothes for.. at least four weeks. on second thought, i think i can survive up to six weeks.

won't have enough bottoms to last six weeks though. but even then, i have seven pairs of jeans. i f i've managed to get my brother to adopt one pair. otherwise, i have eight.

the horror.

but it was definitely a rather constructive sunday. it's been a month since i came back. i guess it's a nice way to remember the days.

posted by who? at 01:18 | link | 2 comment(s)

too long on the net. too long.

posted by who? at 00:13 | link | 0 comment(s)

more evidence of a pathetic existence

as for the other non vegetable-ingredients, they’re simply things i found in the fridge. oh, forgot to label some ikan bilis lookalike. but think they were too small to be seen from the photo anyway.

nobody, except for me would probably have a soup like that for dinner. so please, no matter what i write in the blog, don’t think i can cook.

* * * * *

anyway, back to the handwriting test. the results.. are quite.. accurate? at least.. 75% accurate. apparently

• Who? is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner.

eh. i didn’t choose to be a loner. i, i, i, i’m a victim of circumstances.

• Who?'s true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Who? that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Who? also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Who? is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Who?'s self-concept is artificially low. Who? will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Who? to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Who? is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

well, it’s true that i’ve a low self esteem. at least i’ve always thought so. whatever lah.

• Because Who? has zigzag'ed shaped 'm' and 'n' hump, Who? is an analytical thinker. Her mind sifts and examines facts. She interprets all facts by separating them, breaking them down, and organizing them from a critical point of view. This pattern of clarifying facts contributes to her strong reasoning ability. Who?'s mind is constantly analyzing all situations that she encounters.

huh? ok lah.

• Who? will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

this condition is also known as tactless

• Who? uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

as i’ve mentioned earlier on, i’m a victim of circumstances.

• The circumstances when Who? does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest.

yes. i’m selfish. and conniving too. and yes, i can definitely 记仇. so don’t f—mess around too much with me

• All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

this is where i beg to differ

• Who? will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Who? is not subject to emotional appeals.

again, i think this might be a little off.

• If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

yup. i am ego-centric. it’s a l l about me. me. m e.

• People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Who? doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

har! that’s where you’re wrong again! i’m part blind. writing small will only drive me to blindness faster. and also, it really is determined by the pen i’m using. give me a broad nib writing instrument, and i go humongous. makes sense right?

* * * * *

anyway, think i might decide to adopt a star system like this fish. yup. that's the blog i'm currently following. am reading the archives. am hoping to pick up some tips on how to move to the big city and clinch a job i love (yes, we're talking about t h e city. not the one i'm currently residing in). but then again, it's much simpler for her coz at least she's born in that country.

it sucks to be home on a sat evening, having queer vegetable soup and smelling like mosquito coils. damn you mosquitoes. damn you! i need my jackfruit chips.

posted by who? at 20:06 | link | 0 comment(s)

sad life.

posted by who? at 18:55 | link | 0 comment(s)

wasting time as usual. on a friday night no less.

after spending 4 hours staring at the computer screen, i’ve finally managed to get the previous blogskin back. ok. it’s an exaggeration. i’d actually spent the time

• surfing ebay
• surfing yahoo auctions
• downloading one song
• attempting to find out postage rates that my local post office offers --- near utter failure, still ultimately a failure though
• reading a couple of blogs
• refinding my blogskin
• searching for free webhosting
• attempting to ftp --- unsuccessful
• uploading the images that i need to be hosting on my own for my blog. eventually after quite a while of tripping everywhere and falling flat on my face i'd actually succeeded in doing this. rather unbelievable
• editting a little of the blogskin template html

so maybe i’d spent.. 2 hours trying to get the blogskin back. well at least now it’s looking somewhat a little shipshape.

added a few more links under the blogs section. some link to blogs of personal friends. some link to blogs which i read on a regular basis. and a few link to ny based blogs which i’ve chanced upon somehow and might decide to read more regularly coz they remind me of good times.

* * * * *

free blogger templates

this is where i got my blogskin template from. i kinda like the retro one too. the aqua’s one not bad too. so’s the beach one. actually there’s quite a few i like. but i feel like sticking to my wintry one. so there.

* * * * *

pity i didn’t take photos of it. thank goodness for bloggers. at least now i can share this with my friends. erm, at least with those who actually read my blog. and i can look at it wherever i feel nostalgic.

posted by who? at 22:16 | link | 0 comment(s)

trials and tribulations

posted by who? at 15:00 | link | 0 comment(s)

w? = bigfoot

here's a look at my beautiful campers


it's a rather weird design. kinda looks like footies. but i love the way the upper bit is sewed to the sole. giving you a "border"


plus the lovely off-white color makes my ugly fat feet look tanned! why did my feet balloon in sg?? how did it do that????

what shall i do? sell my lovely memento? argh! the torment! not to mention the pain of the blisters.

posted by who? at 12:31 | link | 0 comment(s)

posted by who? at 17:33 | link | 2 comment(s)

here's a rather poor resolution photo of the l a s t remaining piece of choc fruit cake.
seriously, the photo does not do it justice. it doesn't even look this bad in real life.

posted by who? at 17:12 | link | 0 comment(s)